Saturday, 4 April 2015

Envy...the new oxygen?

DISCLAIMER: All opinions/ideas/solutions mentioned in this posts are by-products of an ignorant mind hence if you drag me to the court of law I shall stick out my tongue and chant "ITS MY OPINION, LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT" but you are more than welcome to disagree. This post is written while holding all the other possible factors effecting the situation constant, for those who know economics, can identify it as Ceteris Paribus (while rest google it). And POSITIVE criticism is always welcome. 

By far the era that we now live in is the most civilized one, and is to some extent, an epitome of human advancement. But if we look in closely, has anything really changed? Have we given up on the vices that have been stigmatizing humanity from the very beginning, such as lying, cheating, stealing, backbiting, murdering, greediness, selfishness, ruthlessness, and along with the never ending list our old friend- envy? 

Giving up is exactly the opposite of what we have done. The so called human evolution has only changed the circumstances, not the well rooted traits. The only difference is that now we quip about others over a cup of coffee or while grabbing a bite at our favorite food joint rather than doing so in our not-so-comfy caves and over our freshly hunted meals. We have gone to the extent of shamelessly concealing our habit of backbiting by giving it fun names like "Gossip Sessions". Now you must be wondering that this post was about envy where did gossiping come from? Well here is the twist, in my very small opinion from which you are most welcome to differ with, backbiting and envy are like heart and body, one can't exist without the other. Ever wonder why do we feel the need to talk about someone or something someone is doing even though it has nothing to do with us? 

I guess we do so as somewhere in the back of our minds it's something we would like to do ourself but can't, or may be because we consider that person better off than us in some way or more liberated or perhaps a projection of our ideal self or maybe their behavior isn't that different from ours, something we might do ourself if we weren't barred from it. Nobody, I repeat nobody talks about anyone just for the sake of fun or without hidden insecurities, there is always a reason. The most common one is envy. I know, sometimes we talk about things on factual and situational basis which is totally fine, but I am not referring to those rare miraculous instances here. 

Believe it or not we do get envious of each other consciously or unconsciously. It's like second nature to us for crying out loud! Why do you think the world has become such a bitter place to live in? And this doesn't only apply to common individuals, I will go to the extent of saying nations envy nations. Or what else could explain today's perplexed state of humanity? You don't kill just for mere fun, there is always a reason. You don't attack your neighbors just because you felt like it, there is always a reason. You don't get into someone else's dirty laundry just because you are too kind hearted, there is always a reason. You don't get frustrated over certain things for absolutely no reason, like I said before there is always a reason. A reason that we never accept, a reason that we might not know ourself, a reason that makes us do vile things just because of the insecurities we harbor, a reason that seemingly turns all the wrongs in to right, a reason that is eating us all up on the inside- Envy, envy and more envy. 

I am not saying that's the only thing, as I am discussing only this topic for now hence emphasizing on it. So what's the solution for it? What spell shall we cast to make it all go away and live happily ever after? To begin with there is no easy way of doing this and making it all go away overnight. After all finding, acknowledging & correcting one's own flaw hasn't always been our strongest suit. So where to begin with? For starters with just a little time alone with ourselves, trying to look into the thoughts preoccupying our mind, the opinions we have about others, gossips we can't wait to share with our best friend and most importantly why exactly do we hate the person we hate, got a solid reason for it or just because he or she is doing what you always wanted to do? Or is it the fear of that person being better off than us or simply the fear of something that isn't real, just a result of us looking for problems where none exist? 

Sorry if I have hit a raw nerve anywhere up there but I felt the need of letting this out. Whether it made a little or no sense whatsoever. 

Thursday, 2 April 2015

The story of me.

Are there people who can affirmatively say "I got it all figured it out!"? If yes then I would really love to meet them. Apart from having everything under control & on track, one can't help but wonder why am I doing all this? Where am I heading? Why even bother? And most importantly what's the meaning of all this? 

Let's start from the very beginning, well not the very beginning as i don't have recollection of any of it, naturally. From as far as memory serves while growing up I never did anything for my own self, something self initialized, something with the sheer purpose of self fulfillment. From being paraded through middle school to being dragged out of high school and finally being shoved into college, one thing remained constant- I didn't belong anywhere. While harnessing the quest of being the shinning star at heart and a mind constantly bustling with ideas & thoughts, the state of gloominess never changed. While knowing I am better than the rest but failing apparently is nothing but torture. I suppose it's simple either I am a genius or a depressed soul in desperate need of psychiatric attention. And to finally throw in the burning question-who am I? What makes me happy, what actually fulfills me, what is my niche, where would I fit in perfectly...?! Being a 23 year old I should have at least figured out the part that where I fit in. But here I am bewildered & clueless probably waiting for someone to drag me by my the arm to my destiny. 

Moving beyond book blogging, to the tyranny called life.

It's more like stating the obvious but I have to say it out loud for once and for all. As my infrequent and extremely rare book reviews suggest, sheer book blogging isn't for me! (Ta-da!!!!) Hence I have come to the decision that this blog can't be just about book reviews (duh!) While I have been away from blogging I hadn't stopped reading (obviously!!) but have actually found reading for blogging kind of exhausting. Reading is who I am and what I do just for myself, can't really do it when I am SUPPOSED to do it. Plus sharing how I exactly feel about each and every book I read isn't my cup of tea either. And don't get me started on my ever changing choice of genres, I might be reading wolf of Wall Street in the morning and Rumi by night! Yeah, I am quite unpredictable. Sometimes I read books that I want to say a billion things about, sometimes I read the sort that render me dumbfound and at a total loss of words while some just make me wonder why I wasted my time and money, while some move me beyond my imagination and finally some that I don't have any opinion about and can't really force one either. Does any of it makes any sense? I hope it does.

So from now on I myself don't exactly know what this blog is going to be. I guess it's about life-as it happens. It will be still about books combined with some rambling about life, some thoughts that I am dying to put out of my head into the infinity called Internet, a bit about few new found passions (like photography/traveling/makeup/current affairs/history & God knows what). So guys, hang in there with me...that is if anyone is even reading. Seriously does anyone really read any of it?

Okay that's enough for now. Name and description change will be updated soon enough. Till then, thanks for tolerating!